Every other Wednesday a bunch of mothers get together at the church in my neck of the woods for a MOPS meeting.
This year we have a wonderful discussion theme : Plunge, Love as if your life depends on it.
This week we were talking about making and keeping relationships while struggling with motherhood. While watching the short movie I could not relate to it. The Mom in the movie was talking about the real face of motherhood: the pile of dirty dishes in the sink, the crumbs on the table and on the floor, the ceiling high pile of laundry.
I’m a clean sort of freak, I can’t stand the dirty floor, the pile of dishes in the sink and the overflowing laundry baskets.
I’m all the time cleaning, doing dishes and laundry, cooking and baking all while making lunch for the dolls and attending tea parties.
And I thought I was happy.
I thought having a house that looks like cropped from a real-estate magazine is happiness.
I thought making dinner from scratch for my family every single night is happiness.
I thought having clean and ironed clothes is happiness.
In the afternoon, while arranging the closet placing the hoodies and long sleeve shirts handy it got me thinking. Was I really happy?
What really makes me happy?
My wonderful husband and daughter came to mind, they make me happy, without them I would probably be doing something else.
This little blog of mine makes me happy, sharing my baking adventures, having you here. Without you I probably have this blog private.
While arranging the clothes the voice of one of my friends was echoing in the back of my head : No matter what you do, you’re a great Mom.
I’ve been struggling for the last couple of years to be the perfect Wife and Mom. The one you see in the movies (no, I’m not actually vacuuming while wearing heals) : the Wonder Woman.
More and more I felt like I’m a robot set to clean and please everyone, but what about ME?
Do I make myself happy?
I was surprised when my inner voice answered “NO”.
No, all the things I thought were making me happy were just an image I created.
Of course, spending as much time with hubby and Tiffany is what makes me happy, but in the same time, waiting till the next day to do laundry it’s not the end of the world.
Occasionally leaving the dirty dishes in the sink overnight it’s not going to kill anyone.
It’s OK to have a not-so-perfect house, we’re making memories.
I’ll still be Roxana. Mom and Wife.
I’m not failing. I’m as perfect as I can be.
My family is perfect!
We love each other to the moon and back and that’s all that matters.
I’ll stop seeing the empty glass and instead of saying “my two-year old is not potty trained” I’ll say “my two-year old reads Cinderella from cover to cover all by herself and knows most of the 50 states”
Motherhood is hard. I’ll just have to do the best I can while making everyone happy, including myself.
I apologize for the random post today, I’ll be back on Monday with a new recipe : Chocolate Dulce de Leche Cake. You can see the photos here